Love, Life, and Healing:
My Family's Full Circle Donation Journey

I am Pam Smith, a living donor and the proud widow of a donor. My family became connected to organ donation in 2013, when I donated a kidney to my husband, Antonio Smith. And in a bittersweet, full-circle moment, Antonio gave the gift of sight through cornea donation in 2024, after his passing.

Educating multicultural communities is deeply personal to me, especially during Minority Donor Awareness Month in August. It’s an important time to highlight the number of minorities waiting for a lifesaving transplant and dispel myths about donation within communities that need the truth the most.

Antonio Needs a Kidney

My husband, Antonio, was diagnosed with diabetes in junior high school. He managed the disease well, talking openly to his doctors and taking his medications as prescribed. But as the years went on, Antonio drifted from that healthy routine, and it caught up with him in his late 40s. A doctor who specializes in kidney health told Antonio his kidneys were failing because his diabetes hadn’t been well controlled. I vividly remember hearing the doctor tell my husband he had two choices: go on dialysis or find a living kidney donor. I told Antonio that same day if I was a match, I would gladly donate a kidney to him.

During this difficult time, we chose to walk by faith, believing God would allow me to be a match. We held onto that belief through every step of testing and waiting.

Antonio began dialysis at home. At the same time, I began the testing process to see if I could donate a kidney to him. Antonio sometimes found dialysis to be a grueling routine. Many nights, in the middle of a favorite TV show, a family conversation, or some other activity, he'd have to stop what he was doing to head upstairs and hook up to the machine. My daughters and I hated watching him go through that. So many nights, we followed him upstairs too, determined to show him that dialysis would never take away from our treasured time together as a family.

Exploring Living Donation

Before Antonio learned his kidneys were failing, I didn't know anything about organ donation. But when we found out he needed a transplant, I looked my husband in the eyes and told him I would learn everything I could, starting with the testing process. And without a doubt, I wanted to be the first person tested.

The evaluation process was extensive. It included several tests, bloodwork, a mental health evaluation, and more. I was also assigned a living donor advocate, which was a real gift. My nurse made sure I felt emotionally prepared and that I truly understood this was entirely my choice. I was able to ask countless questions along the way, making me feel completely at peace with my choice.

During the evaluation process and the transplant, Antonio and I adapted to a new normal filled with numerous appointments and dialysis. And we were determined to make the best of the journey we were on together. When the results confirmed I was a match, we were overwhelmed with gratitude. Our prayers had been answered.

Sharing Love and Life

Our transplant day, March 27, 2013, was one of the best days of my life. We chose the 27th on purpose. It held special significance, since our 27th wedding anniversary was that month. We wanted that number to be a part of this new chapter of our lives together.

WBTV News in Charlotte covered our journey. A camera crew captured our family and friends joining us for a heartwarming moment of prayer before surgery. It was a blessing that connected that unique moment with our faith. Having all of them there helped calm our nerves and turned much of our anxiety into peace and gratitude.

After I woke up from surgery, I was determined to see my husband and know his transplant was successful. I'll never forget walking into his room, surrounded by family and friends, and hearing him say, "I'm much better now," followed by, "Oh, I love you so much." That moment made every part of the transplant journey — the decision to be a donor, the evaluation process, the surgery itself — worth it, a thousand times over.

 From Patients to Purpose

The transplant changed Antonio's life completely. Dialysis left him tired and run down, but after the transplant, he had energy again and got his life back. He spent meaningful time with family and friends. He got back to his treasures of preaching, singing, traveling, watching sports, and more. In 2017, Antonio earned his Master of Divinity. In 2023, he completed his Clinical Pastoral Education. Both accomplishments were made possible by the strength his transplant gave him. From 2016 to 2023, Antonio and I led workshops through our non-profit, The Smith Bios Group, Inc. We talked about diabetes, organ donation, and health disparities, mostly with African American churches. We closed every workshop with our WBTV story, to inspire people to learn more about organ donation. Our story was about us — but never just for us.

Donating a kidney to my husband changed the trajectory of my own life too. I never imagined I'd have the chance to give someone the gift of life, let alone my husband.

Now, as the living donor coach at Atrium Health Wake Forest Baptist, I'm honored to use my voice, experience, and passion to encourage, educate, and motivate patients and their support communities. I keep spreading the message wherever I go, by proudly displaying a Donate Life North Carolina license plate and talking about our story any chance I get.

The Other Side of Donation

Antonio lived another 11 years with gratitude for his second chance. He officiated his daughter’s wedding, spent time with his grandsons, and witnessed his youngest daughter’s engagement. When Antonio lost his battle with cancer, he had the chance to be on the other side of donation as a cornea donor.

My family and I are so grateful for the full circle opportunity to honor Antonio's wishes to donate. We're thankful to know he gave two people the life-changing gift of sight. There's something beautiful about knowing they can now see their loved ones and witness life's most meaningful moments because of Antonio.

Having been married to Antonio for 38 years, I am now walking through my own grief journey, and his donation has even helped my healing. It gives me chances to reflect on his generous, open-hearted spirit, and it fills me with gratitude to know that giving the gift of sight is now part of his lasting legacy.

Educating and Advocating

Right now, more than 100,000 men, women, and children are on the national transplant waiting list. African Americans make up nearly 29% of that list. I believe one of the most common barriers to donation in the African American community is a deep-rooted distrust of the medical field, often shaped by real, painful history. Unfortunately, that distrust can make people hesitant to embrace organ donation as the life-giving opportunity it truly is.

I want people in all cultures and communities to have a genuine desire to learn about organ, eye, and tissue donation. Becoming informed opens the door to understanding what's actually involved. Learning the facts while letting go of the myths is a huge part of that. I encourage those with hesitations to learn the stories of transplant recipients and those waiting for a transplant. If you take the time to truly understand their experience, it can open the mind and heart. The more people know, the more motivated they'll feel to take that next step and consider registering as an organ, eye, and tissue donor or even becoming a living donor.