writing to your donor's family

How to Write Your Letter

As a transplant recipient or parent of a recipient, you may want to write a letter of thanks to your donor’s family. We know that every journey is unique and finding the right words to express your feelings may take time.

In some cases, a donor family and recipient may choose to meet. The first step toward this is to write a letter to your donor's family.

Please use the guidelines below to write your letter.

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An emotional woman uses a stethoscope to listen to a taller man's heart while they share a close hug.
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1

Start Your Letter

  • Because the name of your donor is confidential, please use the greeting "Dear Donor Family"

2

Write About Yourself

  • Your first name only
  • Your family (spouse, children, grandchildren)
  • Your job
  • Your interests and/or hobbies
  • The state where you live

3

Express Your Thanks

  • Acknowledge their loss
  • Share your condolences
  • Express your gratitude

4

Write About Your Transplant

  • Why you needed the transplant
  • What you can do now that you couldn't do when you were sick
  • What plans you have for the future now that you're healthy

5

Close Your Letter

  • Sign your first name only
  • Do not reveal your last name, address, city, phone number, e-mail address, or the hospital where you got your transplant

6

Send Your Letter

  • Place your letter in an unsealed envelope
  • On a separate piece of paper, write your full name, the date of your transplant, and the name of your transplant center
  • Mail your letter to:

LifeShare Carolinas
3621 Randolph Road, Suite 100
Charlotte, NC 28211

  • LifeShare will mail your letter to the transplant center, and they will send it to the transplant recipient.

 **Since the religion and culture of the recipient is unknown, please consider this as you write your letter.

Remember, what you say isn't as important as who the letter is from.

After You Send Your Letter

You may or may not hear from your donor's family. Many donor families feel compelled to write about their loved one. Others may not write for many personal reasons. Just as some recipients prefer to remain private, so do some donor families.

The option for donor families and recipients to communicate directly should be a shared decision. Once both parties (donor family and recipient) have written and received at least one letter each, LifeShare will begin the process for open communication if appropriate.

Questions?

we can help

Our Bridge to Healing team is always available to answer your questions about writing to your donor's family. You can reach us at Info@LifeShareCarolinas.org or 704-512-3303.