Grief and the Holidays: Honoring
Those We Miss
December 11, 2025 | By: Kate McCullough, Community Services Manager
One of the hardest parts of grief can be getting through the holidays when you’re missing someone special. The lights, music, joy, and laughter all around should make you smile... but instead, they can leave you feeling down.
It may help to make the person you’re missing a part of your holiday celebrations. We asked some of our donor families to share what they do to include their loved ones.
Cracking a Smile for Thomas
Thomas had a larger-than-life personality and loved to make others laugh. One of his favorite holiday decorations was the nutcracker. His mom, Stephanie, says he thought they were goofy. Every year, he would try to find the funniest looking one. After he died, she wanted to keep the tradition going. She buys the funniest one she can find; one she knows Thomas would love. Others have joined in on the tradition, and Thomas’ collection has grown rather large. Now, the nutcrackers surround his photo and bring a smile to Stephanie’s face every time she walks by.
She also loves to talk about Thomas, any day of the year. Stephanie says when she starts sharing memories, others usually join in. It makes Stephanie smile to hear people share memories, but it also makes her smile just seeing people appreciate others’ memories. “These things aren’t much, but they are little things that have helped me through the last six years.”
Enjoying Ryder's Favorite Season
Ryder died just a few weeks before Christmas, so this time of year is especially hard for his family. He loved cold weather, so every year, Melissa takes her kids on a special trip somewhere cold. They bundle up and spend their time talking about Ryder and sharing memories, “It is a time for us to be together. I make each one of these trips very special for his siblings because I want them to know that they matter and their feelings and grief are just as important.”
Connecting with Christian
For many people, visiting the cemetery can be a painful reminder of their loss. Turkessa feels that struggle, so she made the decision to save her visits for the holidays. “I feel a little part of me gets to see him during the holidays when we go to the cemetery. I also use those moments at the cemetery to reflect on Christmases past and all the excitement he had as a little boy.” She brings fresh flowers and spends time with her son, reflecting on all their special moments together.
Keeping Busy in Honor of Cody
When Cody died from an accidental drug overdose laced with fentanyl, Lori made it her mission to help others working on recovery from the disease of addiction. She started volunteering with the men’s recovery program at the Charlotte Rescue Mission, where Cody once sought help. On December 15, she brings a big cake to the men’s group for Cody’s birthday, and they play games and celebrate together in his memory. She also has a big birthday party for Cody at home with her own family and friends and visits Cody’s gravesite in Asheville.
Lori’s work at the Rescue Mission has grown over the years. Throughout December, “Cody’s Crew” brings treats, games, and crafts to the men’s group, making sure they feel some holiday cheer. Lori honors Cody’s legacy by bringing love and warmth to others, and that’s what gets her through this tough month. “I try to keep busy in December because of the holidays and his birthday which helps me. I hope these ideas help someone else find ways to honor their special loved one.”
Reflecting with Blake and Matthew
James has several reminders around his house of his boys, Blake and Matthew, and the gifts they gave to others. A Donate Life pin here, a LifeShare ornament there. They’re small symbols of the beauty that came from two tragic losses. He also has a special memorial for them in his man cave. A Donate Life wristband, patches bearing their names, and other mementos surround a special candle. Every year on Christmas Eve, James lights this candle and spends some time alone with his boys.
Each small tribute gives him the strength he needs. He also makes time throughout the year to connect with each of his sons. Some days, he visits the lake where Blake liked to spend time. Other days, he visits the site of Matthew’s accident. The tree he hit is still standing and serves as an important reminder to James, “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my boys, but I have to keep going. That tree continues to grow, but it has scars. Just like me. I have these scars, but life has to go on. I will keep growing and continuing on with my life.”
Creating Your Own Traditions
Each of these traditions holds special meaning to those missing a loved one. As you navigate this difficult season, we hope this gives you some ideas to honor your loved one. You can find more inspiration here.
The tributes can be big or small. They can be just for you or include family or friends. They can even be done outside of the holidays season. The key is to find something that works for you and will bring you some peace and comfort as you remember and honor your loved one.